Well wait nuh. Lah ka may tay pweh! Pressure in de back seat.
I have to revert to Grenadian instead ah de Queen’s English for this one. I sit down cool cool home drinking a cup ah ginger tea when news reach me that there is a new book published in Grenada. I start getting well excited because I start thinking Jacob Ross, Jean Buffong, Merle Collins. No sah. The protagonist is a girl called Kellyane from Laborie in St. Georges written by some German Grenadian man called Ethienne. Well me two ears perk up and I say in me mind, well that food he eat really sweet if a man could write ah WHOLE BOOK about a woman in Laborie and I wondering how come my food doh sweet so cause as far as I know a man never write a line about me! Whole day I well vex and I can’t wait to reach home from work to read extracts of this book and to see wha is de scene (as we say in Greenz). Well before I decide to make the trip to Laborie to find out from she granmudda what going on, I decide to do some further investigations, I google it (as we do!) and see the name of the book is “Destruction of a Vain Woman”. It’s only then the old brain start to get in gear and I realise poor Kelleyan was getting de shorter end of the wood!
The link to a few pages of this marvellous book is here.
http://books.google.co.uk/books?
To cut a long pants short, this Ethienne intended by writing the book believed he was destroying and embarrassing Kellyane to reveal a devil in disguise, a soucouyant in first communion clothes. Instead he ended up embarrassing and illustrating the old adage- there is no fool than ah excuse me language, damn old fool. He admits that he ran a huge string of supermarkets in Germany (read old and haggard but with money), and remembers Kellyane with a “voluptuous figure, perfect roman nose and a pair of round buttocks”. These moneyed men are suffering from the worst types of delusion. Tell me, what else would a young, attractive Grenadian girl be after? He then admits that they had “hot steamy sex” right away, that same night. Then she admitted that she had TWO MAN! And she then told him straight out that she used her body for vengeance on men. And that she was looking for someone to take care of her.
Padna, what you still doing there? You waiting for her to take the money outta yuh pocket? Damn lucky you didnt walk away with a few disease. He only took offence when she asked for champagne with her meal. He said that made her a professional. I just say the chile was thirsty. As me granma used to say- Chuts. So champagne ent good for Grenadian girls mout now? I would have had a bottle of Moet to celebrate my good luck!
I have three words for Ethienne- “It dam good!”. Kellyane as you choose to call her took advantage of you trying to take advantage of her. She played you before you could play her. She laid all her cards out on the table, and you, enamoured by the thought that this young child found you attractive (she was a year younger than your son) were willing to give her the world. Should she have been noble and refused? Why? You are certainly not being noble now by writing and selfpublishing this bullshit "book". You chose to lavish her with gifts and money, you bartered and you bought and she more than fulfilled her end of the bargain. You admitted that you enjoyed your “passionate lovemaking” and “sexual expulsions” (what de arse dey call so?), why shouldn’t you have paid in some way for it? When I come to your supermarket in Germany, I am sure I cannot pick up your best choice product for free? I have to pay. Why shouldn't you, in some way, shape or form? You boast that your neighbours were the number one haematologists in the Island. You tell of your purchases of Rolex and Cartier. You bore us with details of your apartment near Grande Anse (I assume its in Lance Aux Epines). Have you ever lived in a house with a pan roof that’s leaking?Have you ever had to use buckets to catch water? Have you ever gone to bed hungry? Have you ever looked into your cupboard and just seen rice and ketchup and made that your meal of the day? Well if you haven’t you would come up your high horse and see just what Kelleyane saw- an opportunity, an opening, one you were only too willing to provide. What you didn’t like was that she took the power in this pseudo relationship from you, took what she had to get and moved on. The “book” reads like an apology to your wife- trying to explain what you now consider self destructive when you were enjoying it and basking in it all while it lasted. I would love to write Part Two- Destruction of a Foolish Man.
*Edited to add: I have just finished reading the "book" and to be honest I would change the name to "Confessions of a Papyotte". Kelleyane's behaviour is not something for me to pass judgment on (judge not...) save for me to say it reflects a lot about the obsession with material things and I was particularly disappointed, if what he has to say is true- that her family and her mother supported her. Eth admitted that Keleyane allowed a 15 year old to be raped? And he said nothing? What a spineless dog! He talks of her lesbianism in a way that suggests he finds it shameful yet you get the feeling that he was in on the "secret" and it is entirely possible that this is what he fell in love with- the feeling of being deviant. He lavished over $75,000 on her, spent FREELY and took freely. He admits to hitting her and pissing on her- if he admits to those, I bet it is not the only time it happened. He had a showpony- taking her to lawyers events, to Trinidad on vacation, and to "the international city of Hamburg" (ah laugh at that!). He seemed to want to show off that he was brushing a young ting. I do not feel sorry for him one bit! Instead I feel sorry for Keleyane, treating your body as a tool does not leave you with a lot of self esteem, self respect and self love and hiding behind sex and promiscuity is not at all empowering. Maybe one day she would publish her own diaries and do an expose on all the men (and women) who hide behind this respectable facade. It would be worth reading.
