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Wednesday, 24 March 2010

Bye Bye to Boom Bye Bye? The Caribbean Gay Revolution

"Boom bye bye
Inna batty bwoy head
Rude bwoy no promote no nasty man
Dem haffi dead
Boom bye bye
Inna batty bwoy head
Rude bwoy no promote no nasty man
Dem haffi dead
(Two man) Hitch up on an rub up on
An lay down inna bed
Hug up on another
Anna feel up leg
Send fi di matic (automatic gun) an
Di Uzi instead"

I remember this song, booming loudly- a cacophony of guttural sounds from red, yellow and green buses in the Caribbean, the rough authoritative voice of Reggae King Buju over a melody that was, to be honest, made for grinding in a dancehall, scarcely suited to narrating a story of two men in a bed. It certainly arrested our attention and we all knew the lyrics and we sang along to our walkmans. This song is now used as an example of typified Jamaican anti-gay lyrics inciting violence. I do not know about Jamaica other than what I have read but when played in our dancehalls it had no greater effect than to cause a group of red-eyed youth to gather in a circle, stick puny hands in the air and proclaim "Lighter". I interpreted it as no more than a virtual desire to purify and prevent a Sodom & Gomorrah experience (as we had been indoctrinated to believe) rather than a nascent and actual intention to actually kill homsexuals.

The role of the homosexual in Caribbean society has never been properly explored. We have all the names- funny, batty bwoy, nasty boy, nasty girl, buller man, chi-chi man, tanty man and interestingly, the word zami- which is an inherited African word, but these words are barriers to confronting the reality of the Caribbean sexual orientation revolution. In my very small town, there were always a few men who were known to bat for the other side- at the age of ten I knew of at least 3.

The gay Caribbean is however experiencing a sexual orientation revolution. And it is one that is not led by men, but by women. Women are key in this new movement and claiming ownership of their sexuality, one step at a time, refusing to fall within our island society's diktats and mores. A part of me would like to believe that it is linked to the widening chasm between men and women in our society, and the fact that men folk is in crisis and after women filled the gaps in the home, schools, and working environment that the feminist movement has overarched and extended its tentacle to other areas. However, a part of me knows that this is probably too intellectual and insulting an analysis and it is perhaps as simple as we are now moving from an era of conservatism to an era of liberalism and unparalleled openness and these women who are asserting a right to love other women are simply staking their claim in this society.

I am not talking about lesbianism for the gratification of men, sexual orgies, prostitution and the like. This has always existed (yes). I am talking about female relationships. Take one of my good friends- Tamara (not real name) for instance. Since she was growing up she always had an air of tomboy about her. I am not asserting in any way that all lesbians are butch but she liked carpentry and woodwork and I remember her looking at my cousin's Barbie dolls with scorn. The rumours started when she  took a job as a construction worker for a few years during which she embarked on many relationships with men, hotly denying that she was lesbian. After a failed marriage, one son later, she is now dating a girl openly for the very first time and confides in me that she has never been happier. This, in a town of less than 5,000 people. She admitted that she does not care what the people in her town think.  Another young girl I met (let's call her Sandra), a teacher, is in a loving open relationship with her girlfriend and when I commented on her open displays of affection in a well known area in town she said to me "They'll get used to it". A part of me is surprised by this boldness. And then I am annoyed that I am surprised because she is only walking in her truth. I am actually surprised at how well conservative, bible belt Grenada has embraced this. Sure, there is some of: "They are just looking for attention". "They will grow it out" (about a well known secondary school aged girl who thinks she is a lesbian). Of course there are some "They need prayers and help" but I did not feel that this was the majority opinion - people did not care enough about it to make it a talking point, and that's the way it should be.




There are also many other social indicators showing that time has indeed moved on. A local soca star, after hearing of the "scandal" involving pictures taken of two women in very compromising positions which circulated the internet, sang the song "Eating Pork". Pork in Caribbean parlance references the female genitalia (as well as some other choice words like saltfish) and the song describes and taunts that girls in the area are all "eating pork". Said soca star has now confessed that whilst he intended the song to be a social commentary that commented on this practice in non favourable terms, the lesbian community has adopted the song and has frequently asked him to sing it, and have also requested special dedications. A group of lesbian girls openly frequent a party hotspot in Grenada and have made it "their night". A student hangout is known and noted for its acceptance and tolerance of gay couples. On New Year's Eve, I was greeted by a chick in a suit who accompanied her girlfriend in a dress to the Rex and Blue Bubbles. A class mate of mine from primary school is in a long term relationship with a New York woman and has no qualms in admitting freely and openly in a hairdressers shop that she is through with men. Similarly, one of my classmates from secondary school took pride in introducing me to her "woman", although I am not sure she is kosher as she prefaced this with “I fed up with men”. I don't think this would have happened ten years ago.


What is perhaps more telling, however, is that this broad-mindedness and indulgence that has been extended to the "zami" has not been marked by a corresponding willingness to engage in a humanistic way with the other side of the coin- male homosexuality. Men like Patrick Levine pave the way probably for other gay men- he is the only open homosexual on the island. He quotes in outtraveller, "The life in Grenada is very discreet. People usually want to do their thing, but they keep it between their private selves." I have never been to his restaurant but I am told that he cooks with lots of "glamour, spice and sexy". He sounds like our own Ms Jay! Other than Patrick, the rumours abound. We all hear and probably know of the gay costume designer, the gay pageant promoter, the gay model, the gay pastor but it's all very much on the down low. . I must admit that when I usually see gay men with other gay men (why are gay man hotter than straight men?), I instinctively think “What a waste!” which is probably wrong!




More seriously, many of us (including me a few years ago) cling to the Bible for justification for discriminating against homosexuals. It’s what we have been taught. But how can we cling to a literal interpretation of a Bible that for years was used to justify slavery ( in the New Testament -"slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear, serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ") discrimination against women and racism (the "curse of Ham" was used by some members of Abrahamic religions to justify racism and the enslavement of people of Black African ancestry, who were believed to be descendants of Ham). I must admit I am probably not fully comfortable with and do not want to know the fine details of how two men have sex but we do not accord rights to human beings based on our personal comfort levels.

I would like to think that when Martin Luther King fought and spoke about that important promissory note that "that all men, would be guaranteed the "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.", he did not only speak in terms of white or black, American and Non American, gay or straight but he hoped that this could be truly extended to all. I am of the live and let live persuasion. As Bertrand Russell said “ The only part of the conduct of anyone for which he is amenable to society is that which concerns others. In the part which merely concerns himself, his independence is, of right, absolute. Over himself, over his own body and mind, the individual is sovereign”.

17 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Kima I have never been as proud of you as I am right now! We need some good articles like these circulating in the Caribbean.

    Just the other day I was reading that most of the people from Caribbean countries like Jamaica seeking asylum is because of persecution for their sexual orientation (same sex relations). I actually know two "gay" Jamaicans who have no plans to return to their country because of said persecutions.

    Like you I am a believer in "you can do what you want as long as it doesn't infringe on the rights of another", everyday we talk about things like equal rights, tolerance, no discrimination etc yet still all of the above exist.

    Am not saying that am in favor of same sex relationships, but that doesn't mean I won't respect them for their choice as I expect them to respect me

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  3. Akima

    This is indeed a provocative topic and you did a great job handling it. Our Caribbean society is indeed extremely homophobic in a hypocritical way. Some of the loudest denouncers of homosexuality and lesbianism should take a relationship page from many of the gay couples as they leave much to desire in their supposedly more socially acceptable heterosexual behaviour. Many are quick to denounce gays for “nasty behaviours”, promiscuity, disease and more, but they engage in equivalent behaviours and think it is ok. Which man for instance running around with 10 women, no job, 20 children, 5 of whom who he claims, and probably spreading disease among all 10 women only 2 of whom might realize they are not the only one, should have some moral high ground to look down on another man who honestly admits no sexual attraction to a woman and finds a male partner?

    As you said some are indeed in it for the show, but as hush hush and rumoured as it was often kept, we all know or knew persons who innate attractions seemed to point them that way. Some to avoid stigma and ridicule of family and friends hide it, suppress it and often pretend to have heterosexual relationships to stay out of the bashing radar. Still that knowledge questions the self righteous belief of the bashers that it is not a built in orientation.

    You mentioned Patrick and his restaurant in the present tense, unfortunately I believe he just passed. However his mention brings up another issue that often comes up with the whole gay-phobia in the Caribbean. Those locals who do choose to embrace that choice often are not allowed to have a middle ground where they are just seen as gay and live goes on. Many are either become a target for all sorts of verbal and other derision, while the ones who refuse to let the victimization get to them go to another extreme of over flamboyant behaviour. Some times I believe the latter is just a mask of bravado because they see no other way of being just who they want to be unless the society becomes less hypocritical.

    In other countries and especially in higher education institutions I have found the experience for gays is a bit different. You have all ranges from the extremely butch women to the flamboyant men, but a vast majority live just as their heterosexual counterparts and their orientations are only known if you are familiar on that level that you hang out with partners etc. There is a more tolerant culture of “to each his own”, in that even if you are not personally oriented that way, there is no need to discriminate against good friends, neighbors, classmates, co-workers etc just because they have chosen differently.

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  4. mellissa joseph25 March 2010 at 17:50

    well said akima no one could of said it better.

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  5. Thanks guys.

    Yup Kadisha- its all about respect.

    And Nath you hit the nail on the head. Sodom & Gomorrah was allegedly destroyed because of selfishness, greed, a lack of compassion and caring for fellow man as well- how strange that we don't hear about that part! And yup there are a lot of nastymen who have more to answer to God (like how they don't take care of their blood).

    And I wasnt aware Patrick had passed. Thanks for letting me know :(

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  6. Food for thought indeed.Its seems like it is more "socially accepting" for lesbians in the Caribbean than it is for gay men. To this date I believe I have more lesbian Caribbean friends than I have gay Caribbean male friends.Before I might have simply branded this as coincidental.However, now that you offered a possible explanation of Caribbean lesbians' forthrightness, you're making me do a double take on the issue. I guess there are as much gay males in the Caribbean as there are lesbians, but they are frightened into seclusion.( Sadly)No one should live that way. But "toleration" for such is a bad word in the church.And we know how Caribbean people pious already.( one long stupes)

    Anyway its simply takes a little enlightenment for one to become tolerant and aware that these people are no different to us. They are our friends, cousins,sisters,uncle,nenen,possibly children etc...Respect for choice should go both ways.
    Each man to his own and God for us all!

    Good Topic KIMA!

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  7. Interesting Article.
    While I have always subscribed to the "to each his own" edict, my issue has always been with the 'over-flamboyant' and agressive behaviour of a lot of Homosexuals as previously stated by 'Akima'.
    Be what you want to be, but please don't impose it on me and stop with the sexual overetures to every guy you run into because while I am not a violent dude you may try that with the WORNG dude on the WRONG day(word of advice).
    And uh, I can do without a Grenadian 'Mr.Jay'. I am certain that a lot of the 'proud' and open behaviour mentioned by the author is done mainly on the town side, and that suits me fine.
    Growing up in the coutryside,The impression I got from a lot of 'town folk' never considered themselves Grenadians anyway and turned their noses up at country folk whose lives were better regardless(yup, I siad it). **Last observations might have been off topic but I had to get that in**.

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  8. Hmm country man, I too agree that country life is infinitely better (oh lash I will get licks) and yep, I am not a BOUGIE so will freely admit that!

    However where did you get the association between flamboyance and aggression - I see that you attribute that to "Akima". I have met some aggressive lesbians and I dealt with them in much the same way I dealt with aggressive men- Not interested, I will hurt you. As for flaming flamnboyancy, I really don't have a problem with that (although paradoxically I have some gay male friends who really don't like it).

    u will be interested to note that two of those stories I mentioned above are real life and from the "country". So it goes to show that generalisations really dont work.

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  9. Nice article, interesting stuff, and great to hear that lesbians are taking forward gay liberation in Grenada, but sad to hear that little progress is being made where the men are concerned.
    To Kadisha - why the "Am not saying that am in favor of same sex relationships," disclaimer? I am a gay man in a relationship and I don't need you or anybody else to be 'in favour' of it - your comment shows you are still judgemental despite your commendable words on respect. And regarding the issue of choice, yes, we all choose how we live our lives, but don't forget that while sex and relationships may be choices, sexual orientation is not a choice but a simple fact.

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  10. @Tom:
    Kadisha having an "Opinion" is deemed as being 'Judgmental'..Why is that?

    **I am the one who posted as Anonymous by the way. I used a corporate computer and had to wait to get on my Mac at home to post as myself**

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  11. Thanks Tom for your input- I don't think Kadisha meant the "disclaimer" in that way- I think society expects you to choose a side- pro or not and I hardly think she was casting judgment on anyone's relationship but I do understand how it may come across.

    I think you raise a very pertinent and relevant point about it being not a choice.

    Keep commenting on the blog.. looking forward to hearing more from you.

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  12. Someone sent this to me- they feel that they cannot say this in public, what do you guys think:

    "
    You are 100% correct that Martin Luther King Jr was striving for EQUAL rights for ALL

    However, whether you follow the teaching of the Bible - what ever faith - or not, I struggle with the idea of same sex relationships.

    I believe their is no other reason to life than the need to survive - as a RACE, as HUMANS and same sex relationship dose not allow this and it never will

    We - people - have grown to TOLERATE and accept things that we do not understand, without questioning the reasons for its purpose.

    However I challenge you - or anyone else – not to say - BULLER, FAGGOT or anything else that refers to gay people, when you see 2 man, kissing, holding hands or showing any kind of affection towards to each, IN PUBLIC.

    You will not say it out load, you will say it in your head or whisper it to your friend - because saying it out loud will cause offence and in this world of tolerance and acceptance, the action of HORROR –from you- will get you into REAL trouble as we have accepted that we must have EQUAL rights for ALL. But I very much doubt the church going Martin Luther Jr was talking about same sex relationships.

    Trust me when I say, the white man does the same, anytime the black man achieves – this is my Pro blackness appearing - sorry

    If books/films on slavery are truly to be UNDERSTOOD in those days, a black man reading/writing got the same punishment as a black man sleeping with the white woman, we got killed for it!

    The point that I am TRYING to make, is that I will - because I have to - TOLERATE - gays, but I am not homophobic or hypocrite to say, that I understand it or agree with it, because I do not get it or understand it, nor do I wish to either.

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  13. Spiceness - it probably won't surprise you that I don't think that's acceptable to say in public, and I'm surprised you need to even ask. Gay people don't want 'tolerance' - I can tolerate a fly buzzing around my house, that's what tolerance implies to me. Acceptance and respect is what all people deserve. That person says it all about themselves in their last few words - they don't wish to understand, ie they have willingly closed their mind. Almost as bad, they attribute their own bigoted opinions to "anyone else" - plain wrong, obviously. And another disclaimer appears - "I am not homophobic" - you keep telling youself that...please!
    And re Kadisha, she said she was not saying she was in favour of same sex relationships, which I can only take to mean she is NOT in favour of them, ie judging against them. The validity or value of my relationship is not up for a vote. How consenting adults live their lives should have no bearing on others' lives, unless they are harming them. And besides, in my country (UK) and many others, gay rights are enshrined in law and relationships officially recognised, so some people clearly need to move with the times

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  14. Tom, I think it is clear what I think (I don't agree with said person!) and I think the whole arguments wanders and flays but my personal view is that all views need to be outed. Isn't this the only way we can challenge them?

    I don't want to speak for Kadisha and I take your point on the use of the word "in favour", it may be simply a bad choice of word.

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  15. http://www.paradise-inn-carriacou.com/Grenadian-sociologist-argues-that-the-Caribbean-s-attitude-to-homosexuality-is-changing.html

    Saw this as well. Mr Douglas has taught me in college and it is great to see that he validates the view points here. Attitudes are indeed changing.

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  16. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNfHxYfn8fk

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  17. On the June 12th 2010 Anthony and Glenroy decided to join hands in hand and be wedded. After an amazing three (3) months of preparation, the final day was here and the wedding ceremony proceeded. Through the trials and tribulations leading up to the wedding and after Glenroy Marshall and Anthony Marshall-Williams decided to be the voice of countless gay lesbian folks trapped in loveless relationships and marriages, doing what they do best for the sake of an “image “that floats tentatively on a quivering body of nerves and air.

    Please copy the link and let us know wat you think of the video , as we are taking the stand for other caribeean members

    video #1

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNfHxYfn8fk

    Video #2

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6GgY592ipY

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