Con Dem Nation, on its face, seems easy and affable enough. A coalition led by two nearly identikit leaders, posh boys from the Home Counties, youthful faces not yet lined with worry, smartly turned out in blue suits, both gently mannered and privately schooled, ambling down the garden path of Number 10. These two men, raised by two upper middle class parents and who both read the two easiest subjects at Oxbridge secretly reserved for those who are not that clever, appeared sufficiently comfortable in each other’s company to even joke about the precariousness of the alliance- “I’m off!” Clegg joked, “Wait, please don’t go” Cameron gagged. It was unbelievable that only two days earlier, Clegg accused this man of having a very “unbearable sense of entitlement to govern”. Cameron, when asked what was a good joke he had heard recently, responded “Clegg”. Clegg and Cameron now seem as thick as thieves, the Ant and Dec of British politics, to the extent that it almost seems like a strange game of Spot the Difference: Clegg’s suit is just a tad less blue and a smidgen more worn, and his tie is a sickly shade of yellow.
I am amazed that some Liberal Democrats are surprised that this deal has been negotiated. In the later stage of the elections, this is exactly what Clegg said he was going to do- it was when he said he would not speak with Gordon Brown that I took hold of my senses- I literally saw Red. But for the many who voted Lib Dem to keep the Tories out, it must be a bitter pill to swallow because in my opinion, the veneer of affability masks the true nature of the “co-operation” between the parties, a blue tinged unequal exchange that appears to have eroded the very concept of liberal democracy to a fleeting shadow of itself. Have the Liberal Democrats truly been Con-ned?
According to the Coalition Negotiation Agreement, the Lib Dems appear to have managed to hold on to their promise of an increase in the personal allowance for income tax, focussing on those with lower and middle class incomes. This, however, has been agreed on the basis of the Conservatives' National Insurance increases. Surely boys, they must have taught you at Eton that 1-1=0. So ultimately, we are right back to where we started. The Conservatives have also stuck to their foxhunting guns over cutting Inheritance Tax for high earners and transferable tax allowances for married persons. The Horse and Hound pack must be preparing to buy new horseboxes with the windfall.
Only three lines in the agreement are dedicated to immigration, the biggest issue of the campaign. It either shows that their respective views were some measure of pre-election posturing or how far away Clegg and Cam really stand on the issue. Nick has chosen to sacrifice his strongest selling point of an amnesty for illegal immigrants who had lived peaceably in Britain for a number of years. Cameron preferred to have them undocumented, in the UK illegally, not paying taxes and working less than the minimum wage in breach of the Working Time Directive for unscrupulous employers, and so we now have it. There will now be an annual limit on non EU migrants admitted to the UK to live and work. I wonder if I should have packed my bags already. A brilliant Facebook group sprung up just after the coalition was announced: Cameron is the next UK Prime Minister, Last One to Leave the UK, Turn off the Lights.
Young Nick also seems to have capitulated to the euroscepticism of the Tories. Sure, joining the euro does not seem a brilliant idea right now, but should Britain’s decision on whether it should join the single economic currency be based on the capriciousness of how badly or how well sterling is doing against the euro at the moment?
The only major coup for the Liberal Democrats is political reform – they have half succeeded with their plans to put the alternative vote to the people, as it has been agreed that a referendum will be called on alternative representation. I am not sure, however, that the idea of the alternative vote has the backing of the electorate. Most of us do not really care about it in the same way that we care about other issues like the economy, the NHS and immigration. Elections only happen once every five years, we live every day with MRSA in hospitals, extensive waiting lists, a non functioning welfare state, chronic unemployment and trains which do not run on time. This therefore means that the only thing Clegg managed to get out of the agreement (in addition to air passenger tax per plane and smaller class sizes) seems doomed to fail before it starts.
It also appears strange that a Democratic arm and a Conservative Party (who are proudest of Britain’s unwritten constitution and mores) would be the ones to fetter democracy and the prerogative of the Prime Minister- apparently elections will only be allowed to be called every 5 years and a reinforced majority will be needed to overturn this rigor mortised decision.
I must admit that I am unrepresented in this male, middle class, white Con Dem Nation- there are only a few things I can fully back- no third runway at Heathrow for instance. After Clegg’s sell-out I feel that no one really speaks for me.I feel betrayed. This is not the progressive movement we felt came with Clegg’s fresh enthusiasm. Overall, I am left with the feeling that Con Dem Nation seems less like a quickie marriage and more like a drunken affair, the kind that never lasts beyond the initial almost amnesiac fumbling sex after one too many G&Ts. This is a typical friends with benefits arrangement. One party fucks the other, and after a while, the other ends up feeling cheap, dirty and used, skulking back home in yesterday’s gladrags.
(Image from telegraph.co.uk- all rights reserved).
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