If Jones v Jones were a match, I can imagine the commentators in my head:
“And as they approach the ring, Kelis Rogers Jones is the outsider. The crowds are rightfully not on her side, she is a fluke, and they are rooting for her opponent, the legend Nasir Jones. But she delivers a steady blow to his groin and the referee deems that it is allowed. She does it again, and he is taken out for six. She is hungry and greedy to win. He falls to the floor, wounded. Poor Nas. Defeated by a woman.”
Two weeks ago, in the latest round of the Kelis-Nasir epic divorce fight, Nas was facing contempt of court charges for refusing to pay Kelis the spousal sum she was awarded last year. Kelis summoned him to court because he was failing to make his child support and spousal support payments, payments that amounted to over $290,000. He pleaded guilty and the judge ordered that he make an immediate back payment of $56,911 and, as a penalty, increased his monthly payment by $10,000 until he paid the full sum.
It was bizarre to me, when reports of these proceedings first came to light last year, how much opposition there was, some from very intelligent women. Gold-digger. Kelis was getting paid. Greedy. She was letting the side down. Some women felt proud to say “I did it on my own, why couldn’t she?” “Prams and feed don’t cost that much.” “Why don’t she find her own job”. So what if you did it on your own? You are not supposed to. No, prams and feed doesn’t cost that much, but that’s not what it is about. Yes, she does have her own job.
Even Nas plays the poor me card, and he has communicated that he feels hard done by: his recent collaboration with Damian Marley moans “How in the hell am I supposed to stay comfy /When I pay child support, alimony monthly?”, this from a guy who admits that his monthly personal expenses total over $71,000, $10,000 of which goes to hair, clothing and personal effects. Is dude having a full head weave every Saturday? The press ran amok: “Kelis celebrating after milking Nas for more money”. The gong did not ring on the fact that he refused to pay for anything at all, while she was pregnant with his child.
A woman who is seven months pregnant does not walk out easily on the father of her child. What kind of man allows it to get to the stage where a woman has to take him to court to support his own seed? In a witness statement dated 14 July 2009 (sworn under penalty of perjury) Kelis stated that as at date, Nas had only given her a check for $350 and $2500 in gift cards. Nas allegedly earns up to $244,000 a month. After taking him to court, he allegedly proposed $5,000 a month, half of what he spends on clothes. This from a parent stating that he wanted to be “fully involved”. I would probably say that Kelis should have taken her cue from the way which Nas treated Carmen, but then again, us women always like to feel that we are special, that we have the magic goods that will make a man play dirty on anyone but us... I digress. I give her that, though, she came out gloves in hand, feet at the ready, fighting hard.
She had a lot to fight for. Because her battle was not the mere battle of the hip hop glitterati, it was the continuation of a long, hard battle that women had to fight for many years to recognise their contributions, tangible and intangible, within a marriage and to obtain a reasonable sum for their offspring born of it. The calculation of the amount a child of a high net worth marriage is entitled to, is not based on an arbitrary determination of what us, the average bystander who shops in Argos and Mothercare can afford. Sure, I can raise a child on $150 a week. Question is why should I have to? In most US states, child support calculations are made on the basis of a complex formula- the high net worth earner’s disposable income, the approximate amount of time the high earner will have custody of said child, and the amount of allocable earnings available from most parties. So if a judge, after reviewing the evidence says that a fair sum is $10,000 a month, rest assured that high earner can afford it. And if he can afford it, his offspring deserves it. Child care, educational costs, medical costs, and yes, a nurse and private school fees are expensive. A child does not need a Bugaboo or a MacClaren, but when you are talking hundreds of thousands, these fine distinctions are academic.
Men are more up in arms however, that Kelis managed to obtain a huge alimony payment. It is felt that she somehow does not deserve it. The detractors argue that the payment is a superfluous vestige of the English ecclesiastical courts, where alimony was awarded for divorce a mensa et thora, and where a husband’s duty to support his wife extended until after the marriage. A large alimony payment is not current, it is not necessary, it is unfair they cry. Why should a man pay to keep a woman in the lifestyle in which she is accustomed?
Because a real man would take pleasure in seeing the mother of his children comfortable before he is dropping dollars on ice, cars and bling. Because a real man would like his children to come home to a comfortable household. Cue Russell Simmons who was delighted to give Kimora $40,000 a month for Ming Lee and Aoki. It is amazing to me how women who seek to enforce what is rightfully theirs (remembering that on marriage they are entitled to share equitably in marital property- ie anything earned during the marriage) become trifling gold diggers overnight. Never mind that the woman had her own career, a hot number one single and was the equivalent of a quirky alter ego to Sasha Fierce. Never mind she took a two year hiatus to train as a cordon bleu chef. She is an overreaching bitch.
It is worth reminding ourselves that although socio—economic situations have largely changed, on average, men still earn more than women and the pay gap between genders is still a cause for concern. In the early half of the twentieth century, women were often penalised for being stay at home mothers- upon dissolution of a marriage, they often found themselves in a precarious position, their homes being in the names of their husbands (him being the only signatory on the mortgage deed) and having sacrificed the opportunity to obtain skills and training and in some cases a career over the years, they found themselves unable to compete on the job market, with very little sums awarded to them. The mechanism of the constructive trust over family property was developed, to award women the rights to basic shelter to avoid situations like in the 1950’s where children of previously divorced parents lived with their mothers in state- provided low quality housing and visited their dads’ mansion on the weekends. In the absence of a prenuptial agreement, spousal support is assessed primarily on the income and earnings of the paying spouse (the spouse with the lower income). In places like New York, The most important factor to be considered is the parties’ standard of living. This is common knowledge, and for those who are rich enough and yet blasé enough not to have a prenuptial agreement, I have no sympathy.
It is worth noting that this furore could all have been avoided. Nas shot himself in the wallet by refusing to settle, and stupidly boasting that his ex would not get a “dollar outta him”. Special K has the last laugh- hell hath no fury than a Kelis scorned.
Photo from lolathiphop.com. All rights reserved.
CLICK HERE FOR OFFICIAL Nas Web Site
ReplyDelete